If you have ever locked yourself in one of our storage lockers, chances are you were rescued by Bernard, blond and blue eyed Adonis of the Helicopter. And if you’ve never tripped over a ledge, electrocuted yourself with a faulty socket, or had a speaker fall from the ceiling and crush you, you also have Bernard to thank for that.
Blessed with an evergreen smile and cheerful disposition, Bernard is the latest addition to the Triumvirate that runs our audio airbase, kicking the chopper into gear when he joined seven years ago.
Bernard and co-regent Vincent were working on a project for their study of Sociology and delved into the literature on cultural incubators. It turned out that Vincent and Sophie were already sitting on a cultural golden goose egg. They just needed another daddy goose. Bernard was just in time to help oversee the expansion to include the entire second floor of the building. Since then, he’s been the building manager and runs the bars and fridges.
Bernie is the first to contribute to the next generation of Rotor Rockers by, together with his paramour Evalina, becoming the doting parents of Ayla (2), our youngest crew member and the only one small enough to fit in the ventilation shafts. When Ayla is not sorting bottles or playing with sticks, Ayla directs her father’s construction efforts. She has really become a pillar of the community and works for close to nothing.
When something breaks, Bern-Bern is usually first on the scene, not least because he gets up five hours earlier than your average Helicopter pilot. Besides the technical, the culinary is Bernard’s domain, which we occasionally get to enjoy during the Launchpad. A suggestion to expand our selection of treats, bites and drinks is always sure to peak his interest.
A Helicopter pilot knows that any flight could be their last, and no one knows better than St. Bernard. One bright summer’s day, shortly after the first police raid had destroyed most of the Helicopter, the Trinity was using a crane to hoist a cage filled with heavy wooden doors up to the second floor. One moment, Bernard was standing there, looking approvingly at the progressing work, the next moment, he found himself on the floor, covered in blood and doors, and, from that moment on, smiling. The steel wire had snapped and the cage had left a deep gash in this young god’s forehead. Some say it was an accident. But others suspect darker forces are afoot. Forces that would see the Helicopter taken down and smashed to bits in order to claim the airwaves for themselves. Whatever the case may be, from then on, the Bernimator carries all doors up the steep steps, accounting for his freakish strength, and he hasn’t stopped smiling since.
So now you know the legend. But don’t be intimidated. Bernardino has many flaws.
He… sometimes smells of fish, the result of moonlighting as a manager at Marqt. He… sometimes talks a lot. He sometimes employs child labor.
See? He isn’t perfect.
Mostly he is great though. He loves beer, plants, Ajax, Jimi Hendrix, the blues, old bicycles and a good ‘bruine kroeg’. And I’ve heard told, that BB used to play a mean clarinet, but it has been sitting in the attic to gather dust. Whispers, however, are going around that Bernard has seized his sonic spear and is laboring to regain his Klezmer powers. If you bump into Bumbum in the hallways, be sure to pressure him relentlessly to play some clarinet for you.
Captain Danger, out.